Self Pity

Lying on the beach in sin
wrapped in my own emotions
staring at the waves within
this wide deep blue ocean
I told you not to touch
I didn't want to feel
the blissful sunkissed rush
that came over me so real
I heard your distant voice
and saw your familiar lips
you said I made this choice
as you start to grab my hips
tomorrow will be someone new
I can't believe I'm crying
you say that we won't ever be through
I can't believe you're lying
why don't you look inside of me
why don't you want the rest
tell me am I good enough
or is this only lust
what do I have to do to show you who I am
why are you blind to see?
why does nobody ever give a damn
when it comes to me?

A Poem For A Coward

If a bullet went through you
I know I would feel it too
Only because you're in my heart
Body, mind, and soul, won't ever part
I'm glad I got to know the life of a miserable man
Now I won't make the same plan
If you got stabbed in the chest
Would they lay your body to rest?
I would feel your pain, but would refrain from dying
Why don't you just keep on trying?
I'm not scared to feel
I know I don't exactly keep it real
I won't lie and say that my wounds can't heal
I'm giving you another chance
Don't matter if it's 2nd, 3rd, or 4th
Can't you see I'm letting you enhance?
Don't be stupid
Let me hold you and you can be strong
I know I won't do you no wrong
I will be fine without you
But I hear you calling me at night
I'm in your dreams haunting you
Please don't fight it, you know I'm right
You are dripping sweat as you awaken
Your eyes can't adjust to the dark
You are mistaken
There's nothing left but a broken heart
Nobody is there, everybody is gone
But I'm still somewhere in the distance
And if you show me no resistance
I might just come

Conscious Thoughts

I still think about you
when I have nothing to do
which happens on more occassions than a few
like when I am in my room
or sitting on my bed looking at the moon
my body feels cold but my soul feels warm
my eyes are crying but my heart feels no harm
every person I touch
I just can't seem to trust
then you flash into my mind
as if to say you refuse to be left behind
I never chose to be this way
I never chose for your presence to stay
you will always be inside of me
maybe this is where you feel the most free

Rachel Parry, Boston

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